We’ve encountered a few major issues with wedding planning recently… I’m not quite ready to talk about it though, so you’ll have to forgive me. Hopefully we’ll sort it out in a couple of weeks and then I’ll explain everything.
With problems in the horizon, we’ve turned our attention to things we can actually work on. One of the things we have to decide is whether we want to ask someone to read something during the ceremony. The problem is we’re both very private people, and things like these make us both quite a bit embarrassed. Also, we’re having a civil ceremony, and we’re having a lot of trouble finding something that is meaningful and nice, but not cheesy. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible, in fact.
Here are a few snippets I’ve collected though, so that you can tell me what you think:
Bob Marley – He’s not perfect
He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.
I actually like this one because the “you’re not perfect either” speaks to me (people are always telling me I’m too perfectionist!) and my brother is a big fan of Bob Marley so he could read that for us. The sad thing is, in English it has good rhythm, but translating that into Spanish is hard!
Wilferd A. Peterson – The Art of a Good Marriage
A good marriage must be created.
In the art of marriage the little things are the big things…
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once each day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is speaking words of appreciation and
demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is not only marrying the right partner…
It is being the right partner.
This one I like because it speaks about the marriageinstead of the wedding… which in the end is the important part.
Roy Croft – Love
I love you
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
That one could be used as a sort of vows – something we could read to each other. I picked it especially because of the part “I love you for the part of me that you bring out”. He’s made me a happier, much more patient version of myself, and a better person altogether. But we’re both too shy to say anything like that!
Madeleine L’Engle – The Irrational Season
But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take. It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.
To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take.If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another person. When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected.
This one I chose because I agree with everything it says. It also seems less cheesy. And the last one…
Excerpt from Goodridge vs. the Department of Public Health ruling
Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. It is an association that promotes a way of life, not causes; a harmony in living, not political faiths; a bilateral loyalty, not commercial or social projects.
Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition. Tangible as well as intangible benefits flow from marriage. The benefits accessible only by way of a marriage license are enormous, touching nearly every aspect of life and death.
It is undoubtedly for these concrete reasons, as well as for its intimately personal significance, that civil marriage has long been termed a civil right.
Seems appropriate, since it’s a civil wedding.
We could also ask people to write/contribute anything they wanted or that spoke to them, but I fear that might be imposing too much. So, what are your thoughts on those readings? Is there one in particular you like? What are your favorite ceremony readings (from your own wedding, your own future wedding, or weddings you have attended?) Would you rather have the person reading choose/write something they like?